Sitting on the other side of the fence
looking back at all the wasted dollars
and absurdly compromised sense.
Survival instincts sharpened
while acumen was dulled
by the counter-rotation of the grindstone.
Nose worn thin to spite my face
and to try to keep pace
with this self destructive merry go round.
Knocking in vain at the gates of hell.
Circling the drain on the brink of death.
Shallow breath coming in gasps as I fight
and while backing away from the darkness
accidentally stumble over the light.
Looking up through perpetual night
to realize there is a day in today.
Though yesterdays fade, phantoms linger
pointing gaunt fingers and laying blame,
hoping for a rematch in the shame game.
Tomorrow clings tightly
to the previous comfort ability
looking beyond the potential stability of change;
the brain’s ability to rearrange
synaptic mis-firings advantageously
by creating new patterns, habits and rituals.
So, standing on firm ground and turning over the reigns
to new found bearings towards the spiritual;
which instead of always taking, suggests selfless giving
and creates forward momentum for the individual
in this new life worth living