Too often caught

in the abysmal schism

of worst case scenario-ism

haunted by this daunting feeling

that the past has come back to kick my ass

my head reeling from this confidence stealing

preconceived notion that this self induced morass

is somehow the undeniable truth and the only reality

because somehow deservingly, the rolling karmic wheel

has established enough momentum based on the retribution

factor that facts, as twisted as they may get, though not the truth yet

must be bound to turn out turned around, and as unfounded as this may be

it seems to me, that the deeper this rut gets, I can’t seem to let myself forget

those ugly ways from my yesterdays that have tainted the paint in my landscape

to all these shades of indelible grays that won’t seem to fade away no matter what

I do or say until I can convince myself that I deserve good in this life as much as anyone.


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